Joke Pages 0231

Joke Pages

Application to live in New Jersey

Application to live in New Jersey

NAME:__________________________
       Nickname:(_) G- MONEY
                          (_) G- LOVE
                          (_) G- DOG
                          (_) G- BABY
                          (_) HOMIE- T
                          (_) ICE- T
                          (_) MAD DOG- T
                          (_) Other ________________

      ADDRESS: ______________________           EXIT #_______
                           ______________________
                           ______________________

ETHNIC BACKGROUND:
_______Italian _______Sicilian ________Jewish

BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE:
a) Sewage b) Sulfur c) Garbage d) All of the above

TOTAL # OF MUSCLE SHIRTS
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above

# OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above

# OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS THAT ARE ALSO MUSCLE SHIRTS
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above

BRAND OF JEANS PREFERRED
a) Sergio Valente b) Jordache c) Sassoon d) Z. Cavaricci

PERCENTAGE OF WARDROBE WHICH IS LEATHER
a) 100% b) 95-100% c) 90-95% d) 85-90%

TOTAL # OF GOLD CHAINS OWNED
a) 10 - 15 b) 15 - 20 c) 20 - 25 d) 25 and above

# OF GOLD CHAINS WORN AT ONE TIME
a) 5 - 10 b) 10 - 15 c) 15 - 20 d) 20 and above

#NUMBER THAT DON'T TURN FLESH GREEN
a) 0-2 b) all

APPROXIMATE VALUE OF ALL THIS JEWELRY
a) $ 5 - $10 b) $10 - $15 c) $15 - $20 d) Stolen

      NUMBER OF APPLICATIONS OF OBSESSION/POLO/DRAKAR TO
                     ACHIEVE DESIRED EFFECT
      a) 10 - 15          b) 15 - 25               c) 25 and above

GOLD CAP ON AT LEAST ONE TOOTH? YES NO

HAIR HEIGHT
a) 6 - 8 Inches b) 8 - 12 Inches c) 1 - 2 feet d) More than 2 feet

      HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME
     a) Hair Spray
     b) Styling Gel
     c) Mousse
     d) Extra Hold Styling Gel
     e) Bondo
     f) Spackle
     g) 40 Weight Oil
     h) Crazy Glue

     AUTOMOBILE OWNED:
      a) IROC Z
      b) Firebird
      c) Camaro
      d) Mustang
      f) Chevette ( You got a f#%*ing problem with it?)

NUMBER OF INCHES CAR IS OFF THE GROUND
a) 6 - 8 Inches b) 4 -6 Inches c) 2 - 4 Inches d) Under 2 Inches

      CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTOMOBILE
     a) Gold chain around license plate
     b) Neon lights around license plate
     c) Neon lights under car
     d) Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view mirror
     e) Garter hanging from rear view mirror
     f) Chrome hubcaps
     g) Stick-on window tinting
     h) Stick-on paint splash stickers
     i) Fuzzy dice

     FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM
     a) F#%*ing Giants
     b) F#%*ing Jets
     c) F#%*ing Mets
     d) F#%*ing Yankees
     e) F#%*ing Nets
     f) F#%*ing Knicks
     g) F#%*ing Devils
     h) F#%*ing Rangers
     i) F#%*ing Islanders

      FAVORITE MUSIC
      a) Techno
      b) Rap
      c) Bon Jovi
      d) Bruce Springsteen

ESSAY QUESTION
In 100 words or less, Define the term "Yoos Guys" and "Youts"

Want to see more? Click here for another joke!