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Joke Pages |
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If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, she'd be Whoopi Cushing.
If Swoozie Kurtz married Patrick Swayze, she'd be Swoosie Swayze.
If Flip Wilson married Les Aucoin, he'd be Flip Aucoin.
If Barbara Hershey married John Candy, divorced him to marry Roseanne
If Julie Emry married Jeff Gillooly, divorced him to marry Darlene
If Ivana Trump married Neil Diamond, divorced him to marry Jack Nicklaus,
If Julie London married Beau Bridges, divorced him and married composer
If Darryl Strawberry married Sally Field, and they never divorced, he'd
If Ali McGraw married Muhammad Ali, divorced him to marry folk singer
If Aretha Franklin married Buddy Holly, she'd be Aretha Holly.
If Ellen Barkin married Alan Arkin, they'd be Ellen and Alan
If Whoopi Goldberg married Sandra Dee, divorced her and married Scooby
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg
How about a baseball marrige? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to
Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name,
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale,
If Jack Handy ("SNL" writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar,
If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf married Rose Tu
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of
If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory
Finally,
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted
Danson, divorced him to mary Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight,
and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight
Long.
Barr, she'd be Barbara Hershey Candy Barr.
Hooley, then divorced her to marry Wes Cooley, she'd be Julie Gillooly Hooley
Cooley.
then divorced him to marry John Darling, she'd be Ivana Diamond Nicklaus
Darling.
Manuel de Falla, then married Hugh Downs, she'd be Julie London Bridges Falla
Downs.
be Darryl Stawberry Field forever.
Hoyt Axton, divorced him to marry basketball player World B. Free, she'd be
Ali Ali Axton Free.
Barkin-Arkin.
Doo, she'd be Whoopi Dee Doo.
Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
Pooh.
be Boo g Alou.
marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard
Hughes, then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.
the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and Edith Tu.
Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she
would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.
If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even further back in
show business and married Mr. Lucky, then divorced and married Martin Short,
then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod
understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."
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