 |
 Joke Pages |
|
|
Joke Pages |
|
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE:This application will be
incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,
job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #____________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS__________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____
Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent?__________ If NO, explain___________
_______________________________________________________________________
Number of years married________If less than your age, explain____________________
_______________________________________________________________________
Do you own a van?_____ A truck with oversized tires?_____
A waterbed?__________
Do you have earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?________
A tattoo?___________
(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)
In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?________________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, mean to you?____
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?__________________
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Church you attend_________________________________ How often you
attend_______
When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and priest?_____________
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all
answers are confidential. (that means I won't tell anyone EVER)
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my________________________
C: A woman's place is in the____________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is____________________
E: When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is______________________
NOTE: if answer E begins with T or A, discontinue. Leaving premises keeping
your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.
What do you want to do IF you grow up________________________________
What is the current going rate of a hotel room?______________________
Condoms come in A: 3 B: 6 C: 9 D: 12 E: ALL OF THE ABOVE (circle one)
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND
CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH,
DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION,
ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.
_______________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name)
Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to
call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury) If
your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing
white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).
[------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]
Want to see more? Click here for another joke!
