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 Joke Pages |
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Joke Pages |
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You know you are addicted to the Internet when...
You actually wore a blue ribbon to protest the Communications Decency Act.
You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and
You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...
All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster
And even your night dreams are in HTML.
You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using
You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a
You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved
You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear
Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of
All of your friends have an @ in their names.
When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all
Your dog has its own home page.
You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway
You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no
You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it
You refer to your age as 3.x.
You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and
Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
You don't know the gender of three of your closest friends,
You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games
You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you
You tell the cab driver you live at
You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's
Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your
You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines
You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape
You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in
You forget what year it is.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you
You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed
You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you
As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road,
Does this sound like any of us????
no phone lines.
cellular modem and a laptop.
and your child in the overhead compartment.
connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.
a word processor.com
you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never
had heart problems before.
and you don't have a clue when it happened.
if new e-mail arrives.
what she looks like.
of them are already highlighted in purple.
through Lycos. or C ontinue?
idea where your children are.
again.
even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
your favorite IRC channel.
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
from Apogee.t, or C ontinue?
your e-mail on the way back to bed.
landscape.
http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
IRC channel.
useless.
2.01or higher."
ISP...because you never log off.
front of your computer with a toilet.
think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for
"surfing the net".
to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."
buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of
you can chat.
your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
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