Joke Pages

State law...


These are real standing laws from around the United States of America.
Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no Joke!

Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a
     vehicle.

California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for
     anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles
     of water.

Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per
     hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
     

Florida:
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can
     the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday
     or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee
     has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired
     in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Illinois:
1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and
     other domesticated animal kept as pets.

Iowa:
1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

Kentucky:
1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she
     "cannot hold onto the ground."
2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

Louisiana:
1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with
     a water pistol.
2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while
     biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

Massachusetts:
1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and
     securely locked.
3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a
     special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of
     their taxi during their shifts.

Nebraska:
1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp
     during a church service.

New Mexico:
1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

New York:
1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law
     specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street
     and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a
     crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced
     to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes
     outside for a stroll.

North Dakota:
1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

Ohio:
1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

Oklahoma:
1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being
     licensed by the state.
3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate
     in groups of three or more on private property.

Pennsylvania:
1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and
     dust under a rug in a dwelling.
2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

Texas:
1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without
     first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while
     standing.

Vermont:
1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one
     bath each week -- on Saturday night.

Washington:
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with
     criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the
     chief of police as he is entering the town.

West Virginia:
1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."

This is supposed to be a true story ...
---------
Karen, a Midwestern housewife, took her first trip to Las Vegas
last year. She had done very well playing the slot machines, winning a
bucket full of quarters. Karen needed a break and she left the casino
heading toward the elevators, taking her bucket with her. She steps into
the elevator and before the doors shut, four beefy, leather-clad
African-American men step in.

Karen (never having spent much time with
African Americans) clutches her bucket close to her chest. One of the men
says, "Hit the floor, lady," and she does: quarters fly everywhere. The
men bust up laughing and they help Karen collect her winnings. One of the
men explains that he meant for her to select her floor. They help her
collect her quarters and the elevator arrives at her floor. She leaves
embarrassed, and the men are still laughing.

Later that evening, a dozen roses are delivered to Karen's room.
There is a one hundred dollar bill attached to each rose. The note
attached read: "Thank you for the best laugh I've had in years! Eddie Murphy."


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