Joke Pages

Whiskey & Fishing

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to
empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else...

I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork
from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the
exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the
second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass,
which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured
the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth
bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I
pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it,
and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass
and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass,
bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the
glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which
were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and
finally I had all the houses in one bottle,which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as
thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I
stand here, the longer I get.
-- Author unknown

Three men in a boat

Three men were fishing in a boat on a lake. One of them hooked on a bottle
that when rubbed produced a genie. He granted them the proverbial wish.
The men finally decided to wish for the lake to be turned to beer. The wish
was granted, and the genie left.

After awhile he became curious about what the men were up to so he went
back. He asked them how it was going .

"Not too well"

"Why not?"

"Because now we have to pee in the boat!!"

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