Joke Pages

Official U.S. court records


These are questions (taken from official U.S. court records)
lawyers have put to people on the stand:

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

Q: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't
know anything about it until the next morning?

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

Q: Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

Q: The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you alone or by yourself?

Q: How long have you been a French Canadian?

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

Q: Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on Nov. 8.
Q: Apparently, then the date of conception was Aug. 8?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable
A: I use to be.

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: So you were gone until you returned?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what
it looked like, but can you describe it?

Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Have you lived in this to town all your life?
A: Not yet.

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the
body of Mr. Edington at the Rose chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy atarted about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?


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