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 Joke Pages |
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Joke Pages |
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In a Tokyo Hotel:
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
In a Leipzig elevator:
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
In a Paris hotel elevator:
In a hotel in Athens:
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
In a Japanese hotel:
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop:
In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Outside a Paris dress shop:
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
From the Soviet Weekly:
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
In a Zurich hotel:
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
In a Rome laundry:
In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency:
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
In a Swiss mountain inn:
In a Bangkok temple:
In a Tokyo bar:
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
In a Budapest zoo:
In the office of a Roman doctor:
In an Acapulco hotel:
In a Tokyo shop:
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
Two signs from a Moroccan shop entrance:
Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world.
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that
time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the
cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a
number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
alphabetically by national order.
Please leave your values at the front desk.
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily
except Thursday.
Not to perambulate the corriders during the hours of repose
in the boots of ascension.
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Dresses for street walking.
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation.
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet
Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over
the past two years.
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent unless they are married with each
other for that purpose.
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the
lobby be used for this purpose.
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
miscarriages.
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Special today -- no ice cream.
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
as a man.
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome
to it.
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable
food, give it to the guard on duty.
Specialist in women and other diseases.
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
best in the long run.
conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
your room, please control yourself.
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.
- English well speaking
- Here speeching American.
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