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Country Western Song Titles:

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles
(Yes, kids, these are REAL.)

  1. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

  2. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

  3. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

  4. Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

  5. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

  6. How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been
    A Liar All My Life?

  7. I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral

  8. I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

  9. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

  10. I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

  11. I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

  12. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

  13. I Wanna Whip Your Cow

  14. I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

  15. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

  16. I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

  17. I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

  18. I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

  19. I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

  20. I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare

  21. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

  22. If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

  23. If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You

  24. If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

  25. If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

  26. Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

  27. My Every Day Silver Is Plastic

  28. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

  29. My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was
    Breaking My Heart

  30. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

  31. Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down,
    But Baby I Can See Through You

  32. Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill

  33. She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft

  34. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

  35. She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

  36. She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty

  37. Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

  38. They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin'

  39. Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

  40. When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In

  41. You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too

  42. You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd

  43. You Stomped On My Heart (And Mashed That Sucker Flat)

  44. You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

  45. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

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