Joke Pages

A man died and went to heaven:

A man died and went to heaven, where he met St. Peter sitting at a desk
in the middle of a great hall. On the walls were millions and millions
of clocks.

"What are those used for?" he asked. St. Peter said, "There's one of
them for every living person on Earth ticking out the days of their
lives."

The newcomer noticed that the hands of some of the clocks were moving
faster than others. "Why do they move at different speeds," he asked.
St. Peter said, "Every time you tell a lie you lose one day of your
life."

The newcomer looked around and then asked, "Do you have one of these for
Newt Gingrich?"

St. Peter answered, "Sure, it's in the back room. We use it for a
ceiling fan."