Joke Pages

Listed below are (sad, but true) excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by Jim Carlton, Austin, Texas:

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell
Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens.. The
Foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when
she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

Compaq is considering changing the command " Press Any Key" to press Return
Keys because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the
system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After
trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was
found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the
typewriter to type the labels.

Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A
few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies
of the floppies.

A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the
drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was
heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the
door to his room.

Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the
man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor
screen and hitting the -send- key.

Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
individually.